binnnnn

i always complain that i dun have time
but the thing is that i always waste away the time that i have
i freaking always procastinate and not achieving my target eventually
i used to be able to meet datelines in the past.
but now im like never meeting datelines
though i noe alot of things are waiting for me to do
but i dread them, i wait
then i dunno how to face the consequence.

and something is very wrong with me.
i enjoy being around with alot of friends ya
but i also enjoy being alone
then ppl think that im unfriendly or dao or loner when i wan time on my own
though they dun say it but i do feel it. haix

being a perfectionist simply hinders work
i expect too much.
i should only expect alot from my own and not include as much from others
just like what kehui said, if im gonna expect so much, no one is gonna work for me, i can do all on my own.
yep it went deep down.
yar now im asking a favor out of others and they dun owe it to me.
but it just doesn't satisfy my inner self
but yar it proved that because of what i want, things progressed damn slowly
and it isn't ready at all to the expected timeline

i always say i dun mind ppl tellin into my face wad im lousy at
and give me advice and suggestions and stuffs to improve
seriously i do always want to know wad im not good at
but i always end up not being very happy with wad the person say to me even if it is true
i wan ppl to tell me off when im wrong
but i feel unhappy and dun really wanna accept
wad an irony=.=

anw yea so we had locker cleaning on wed and fri
things turned out to be far from wad i hoped and tht it would be
but still im greatful for the ppl who helped(:
the cleaned lockers are now very clean! yay thanks!
but there is like still half the number of lockers to go!

there was farewell dinner for michael at 18 on fri
sorry for going late
though we said it was farewell for him
but the effect didn't seem to be so
but still it was like damn cool that there were like almost 20 or >20 of us at 18
we booked the whole freaking cushion seat row sia.
we were like damn noisy throughout
and there was simply this segregation between the lao ren and the nian qing ren
all the kids in white uniform had their fun
and all the oldies in our jc uniforma and the home clothes ppl had our mass chatting session
we had so much to say to the juniors to blacken their jc life
ahha we simply had so much to share.
it was some mj tj and vj sharing session
yay there's like so many of them coming to mj!
chinyee mervin and jolynn! whee(:
we stayed in 18 for like damn long..
till like 1015. they were all waiting for us to close the shop already!
yep so decided not to be so thick skinned so we left
and ahah xzellyn was like so high byee-ing to me when we left
that guy who wore her name tag stunned
haha i guess they were like super happy when we left cuz they finally could pack up everything~
yea so we continued to blacken the juniors' jc expectations and all the random chats
yea left home quite late..

sat was like busy busy busy
woke up at 645 and reached sch at 9 for mass dance prac
with some sch new policy, we couldn't go up at first
but lucky we were granted permission eventually.
yea so we had our mass dance prac.
whoo fun. i all along loved dancing. just that i suck at it and look weird dancing
yea so there was this guy filming us
and we ran off when he wanted to interview us.
poor kehui was being too nice and din run off.
but she still escaped the interview
yea so dance ended and i was sweating quite alot
i wanted to bathe, i even brought my stuffs along!
but zz the sch locked up the toilets with the shower head.
rarr.

so only managed to clean up then headed for drums
had to miss the orientation filming
why din they like inform earlier? i wanna film mann
nvm drums was more impt since i scheduled it first
lucky me managed to catch the bus to paradiz centre without having to walk there frm ps
it was like fast forward by so much!
yea reached there and saw yw..
walked over and sam was there too
though i din walk there, but it was damn hot outside so i was emitting heat like nuts
oh and while i was busy sms-ing
sam got the drink for me(: yay thanks for treat lao shi!
so yar the random chat abt my busy schedule
which led to the topic of giving up certain things then prioritise
yar so we went from council to 2nd cca to ahsco alumni to lastly drums
at first i tht he would say something abt stopping drums
but turned out he was pretty fine with it and still agrees that i should stop.
so nice ah? it's less one student leh! and less one source of income!
and ohh i realise he has got like ultra memory which stores like alot of small details~
and off he went down to prepare
then chatted with yw abt the book featured in the leaflet
i think im getting the book! cuz after reading the extract, it seems pretty interesting!
ohh and i realise im too used to ppl knowing the context of what im talking abt
so i tend to use short forms and skipping alot of content here and there.
then ended up yw was like all confused abt wad i was tryin to say abt orientation and mass dancing. haha
and lol i misintepretated pc's msg
i said she was gonna walk from far east.
ahah so pc came and yup off to lesson.
nothing much new this lesson
more of a putting everything we learnt for the past 7 lesson tgt to get a song out
the trying out was ok and fine for me at first
but when it came to having it with the keyboard and singer i was knocked out
haha im not used to playing reapeated things for too long
i'll lose concentration and start confusing my stuffs
and rarr i miss the practice sessions i used to have with pc b4 lessons.
it feels like million times better and i'll do better during lesson
but too bad my time dun allow me to have the pracs.
performance during the last 2 lesson proved to be true that having practice session b4 hand makes a world of difference.
haha but too much practice makes u too used to something and u will screw things that u din expect. happened to pc. wad she prac out there was slightly different from what we played during lesson so she was like so pek cek over it. aha.
but at least u managed to play other parts well!
oh and i realised sam was damn naggy to keep asking me to rest more
but i dun remember feeling or looking very shag or tired leh
but yep thanks la huh!

yea so it was like damn it late lunch after lesson
damn hungry, esp true bcuz of the 2hr dance.
yea we went to sunshine plaza.
whee the pork chop rice was damn nice sia. lovely.
nicer than their signature wan ton mee!
but the fried wan ton still rock..

bought t-shirts and went to cut hair
sian cny cut hair + 4 bucks. damn ex
and actually i could have had that guy to cut for me
then i just had to be so suay the ladyboss wan to cut for me
rarr my hair now sucks =X

oh and i think im a pig.
though i ate my late lunch ~3plus,
i felt damn hungry and ate my dinner at 6 plus

ahh sian i have been very gloomy and not smiling much these few days
cuz i got like 1 million and 1 things undone.
so if i ever dao you, most prob is cuz i din see you while thinking of my stuffs..
lets see..
i have:
`locker stuffs and more locker stuffs
`ORA
`GMS
`maths hol hw
`chem tys hol hw
`econs hol hw
`physics tutorial
`maths tutorial
`and alot of other things!