binnnnn

my life seems to be totally haywire and in a complete mess.
wad so ever.
i've got no idea what got into me and why things are turning out like this.
okay maybe i shouldn't say i got no idea why
things turned out to be like this cuz i made certain decisions and here comes the consequences
im just not trying hard enough.
or maybe im not even trying.
im just waiting for a miracle to happen
and deep down i know it won't happen.
everything ain't going the way it used to be.
everything ain't the same as what i hope and want it to be
i got no idea how im going to survive these 7 sem.
seriously. i've never believed in how can one ever survive being on his/her own
it's impossible. but yet im doing it.
good job. i'll just see how im gonna fall.
and actually i've no right to complain at all since im the one responsible for wads happening today
well, being lady luck just doesn't like me anymore and doesn't want to shine on me anymore.
it's funny how im trying to run away from the problem by finding happiness fangirl-ing away.
it covers my unhappiness, worries and everything whenever im into it,
but deep down i know the root of the problems are still there.
owells.

supposedly weekends should be better since they are non school days and school related problems can be cast aside for the moment.
but too bad. problems back at home are even worse
hall ppl all carn wait for have 3/4 school day week cuz they want to go home.
but i live in fear whenever im at home.
things ain't going anywhere better and maybe worse.
owells i've got no ability to do anything to change anything
just live on with it.

maybe i lived a good life in the past so now im getting all the shitte.
maybe its all fated.
life just can't get more worse anymore.
i should just be contented to bask myself in happiness of fangirling and with the friends still around.