binnnnn

why is life so damn it unfair?
why me? why me?
just what have i done to deserve all these?
at a mere age of 1 i was made fatherless.
then now my sister is turned into this manner.
and of all time in the world, the timings always had to be like some prime time.
first it was during tday prep i had to face all these while mum was overseas
then was during a lvl prelims & even during a's
i was really so afraid & so afraid that i would flung my a's.
it was so tiring to go through the muggin & this.
then after so much, it seems as though things turned better.
but it was just a mere uphill moment.
situations reversed itself yet again.
back to one square one or even worse.
then came the hospitalisation of ahma.
out of nowhere she was diagnosed with last stage cancer.
out of nowhere.
after so much and so much struggle, she left.
before she left she wanted to see my sis so much but yet she never appeared.
5 days of wake, she never appeared still.
till now after 1+ wk then she started asking whr's ahma.
it's all too late.
and her condition worsens day by day.

im all crushed by so many and so many things thats happening.
so many things that i wan to do and yet i carn
so many things that i have to face and i got no idea what to do
do many things that i have to struggle to make a decision and not know if it will be too selfish of me.
what am i supposed to do?
how am i supposed to hold on?